May 23, 2011

Noah Webster's Lexicon

written by: Rosa Morgan

It's impossible to declare exactly the number of words in the English language due to the amorphous parameters constituting a word. Urban Dictionary would have you think every slang coined should become part of the vernacular. The second dictionary I created contained 70,000 words and took 27 years as well as the mastering of 26 languages to complete. Today's Merriam Webster dictionary, (I shan't delve into George Merriam's butchering of my life's work) holds over 500,000 entries. Some argue a surfeit of words encourage verbosity, while others like myself, believe we under-utilize the lexicon at our disposal, thereby failing to elucidate our meaning.

I encourage you to reintroduce the following choice words into your customary discourse, thereby elevating the minds of both speaker and listener.

"Salutations" or "Hail fellow well met" are much more congenial greetings than a curt "Hi", "Hey", or worse yet, "Howdy."

(given to tears)

These ladies are lachrymose over every one dying from yellow fever, for they shall soon run out of clean handkerchiefs, and be forced to wear mourning black for at least a year's length.

bellicose (bl-ks)
(ready to fight)
These young men are bellicose over a woman's reputation or because they've lost their shirts. I put my money on the gent in orange britches.

(a desire for sexual intimacy)
"My dear I have a strong concupiscence for you, but upon my honor I shall not dare to hold your hand until our wedding night."

gadzooks (gdzks)
(a mild oath: origin perhaps from God's hooks, the nails of the cross)

"Gadzooks, a fireball just flew through the window!"


  1. I hate it when fireballs fly through my window...

  2. Me too! And it seems no other word than, "Gadzooks" would be appropriate.